Dear Ev and J,
I don’t know what to say to you. You are mostly oblivious to the chaos of the world around you, the heaviness and sadness of what is happening all over the globe. You know the word coronavirus, but you have no idea the destruction this virus is doing, the way it has brought whole countries to their knees and revealed our utter lack of control in this world.
All you know is we haven’t left the house in two weeks, that baseball practice and dance class have been cancelled for a while, that we can’t go to your grandparents house.
You have had to take the brunt of our frustration and impatience, our worry and anxiety. I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be leading in this moment and sometimes all I can do is fall into the pit of despair and anxiety the news around the world seems to produce. I don’t have words. I don’t know why this is happening. I can’t assuredly say everything will be ok.
I do believe God is faithful. I do believe God is good because I believe Jesus entered into the brokenness of this world, the loss we are all experiencing and that He brought resurrection and life with Him. I believe the church is the place where we remind ourselves of this life and point our hearts to Jesus.
I believe you are gifts of God’s grace to help us take our minds off the bad news, to smile and laugh, to play and hope for a future to come.
I believe in you.
I need your hugs and kisses. I need you to bother me to step out of the fog of data and predictions and into worlds of make believe. I apologize for not being fully present in this moment.
Maybe, when you read about this in your history books in the future you will understand why Dad was so down, why Dad was so stressed, why Dad seemed so lost for a few weeks in 2020.
My first job is to love and lead you well and I don’t really know how to do that through this pandemic. I’m just taking it moment by moment and asking God for His help.
This is a moment where God has called our family to stop, to stay home, to be with one another. You have helped me more than you know. We will make it through this. Life will come back to some kind of normal.
I wanted to write this to you to mark this moment, this world changing, life altering time we are all walking through, to raise my Ebenezer in this place to say you are pictures of God’s faithfulness, His presence, and His peace. You remind me He is with us and working redemption and resurrection all around. You are beacons of hope and joy in a world so devoid of both in this moment.
I am proud of you, for just you being you, and I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for keeping me grounded in the grace of God. Thank you for being the distraction I need. Now, let’s watch Daniel Tiger and play Guess Who.